Confessions from a Thirty Something Momma

Now that I have joined the ranks of smartphone users, my husband asked if I was going to add an Instagram App. I resolutely told him no. He asked if it was because I didn't want to jump on the Instagram bandwagon. Again I said no. I then explained how I've read an occasional article about how Instagram can put a filter on your life- portraying images as perfect. Bad days, with the right Instagram filter, are now recaptured as wonderful memories. Suddenly, life on Facebook as portrayed by Instagram photos, seem like someone else has it all... while you obviously do not.      Don't get me wrong. I love the beauty of some of the Instagram photos I have seen. I am also not making any accusations or assumptions about others' use of Instagram. I am merely stating that my life is sometimes messy, my fears are real, and my kids imperfect. My finances are riddles with challenges that seem to stump me time and time again. And my marriage, while its at a very strong an

The first thing I noticed was his eyes.  He was crying and I started speaking to him. He eyes turned to me and he stopped crying, immediately recognizing my voice. What an amazing first contact with my newborn son that February morning. Yet when he turned his eyes to me, one fleeting thought crossed my mind.  “This looks like a baby with Down Syndrome” the thought echoed.  Feeling horrible for even thinking this, I quickly pushed the thought away. I had never even seen an infant with Down syndrome before my son. Not knowingly anyway. Yet four hours later, the doctor confirmed that my first fleeting thought wasn’t a fluke. In fact, somehow deep down inside, I had known immediately he had Down Syndrome. Several hours later, as I looked and stared at him sleeping, I thought that the physical markers caused by his extra chromosome were so obvious, particularly when he was awake. As his almond shaped eyes opened, adjusting to the outside world, my heart sank deeper and deep