Confessions from a Thirty Something Momma

I started preparing my first cup of coffee for the day, only to realize I was out of milk. Knowing I drink two cups a day, a trip to the grocery store landed itself on the top of my to do list for the day. Staying at home with two small children and alternating nap schedules made the trip a logistical issue. But finally, about 4 pm, with both boys up, I loaded the car and headed out on my mission. Joel hadn't napped at all today though. So I lured him into the car and away from his desire to go bike riding by mentioning the cookie he'd get a Publix. it worked. Our closest Publix is ten minutes away. On the way there, Joel decided to get comfortable and remove his shoes and socks. I found this frustrating as I'd have to take an extra couple of minutes to put them back on him once we arrived. But, I didn't demand he put them back on. Instead I just shook my head, sighed, and smiled to myself and moved forward. See I'm finally starting to learn the true importa...

Tomorrow morning is March 21 st and my second World Down Syndrome Day. Last year on WDSD, my son Alvaro, who has an extra 21 st chromosome, was only 5 weeks old. It was the day that I “announced to Facebook” that my son had Down syndrome. I was still reeling from the shock of his diagnosis and trying to find out what that meant on the large scope of life. I wondered how his condition would affect him and our family. I was also reaching a place of acceptance and wanting to share with the world that I was proud and lucky to have him as my son, no matter what condition he did or didn’t have. Tonight I sat on the floor of my boys’ bedroom watching them play. Joel doesn’t know his little brother Alvaro has an extra chromosome. Joel doesn’t care. He doesn’t notice his brother has slanted eyes or lower muscle tone. He doesn’t realize his brother isn’t yet crawling while his peers have begun to walk. To Joel, Alvaro is just his brother. Fun and silly. Loving. Cute. And part of his...

Chaos.  I don't know about you but I have this interesting interaction with the chaos in my life. Sometimes I can manage it- and manage it well. I can keep it organized and in its place. Other times chaos in my life seems to swallow me up and spit me out. And it all depends on how tired I am. Many times it depends on how well I can take care of myself in the midst of the chaos. I had one main goal last year - it was self care. Many of us struggle to take care of all the things on our plates, and then self care ends up last on the list. If we even get to it. As much as I know the lack of self care or the ability to engage with self care can change my life, sometimes I get lost in that very chaos of life. Self care has to be something I fight for. So here I am again. I got to a good place of self care for a bit. I stopped working outside my home to take care of my boys. I stopped eating emotionally to take care of my heart. I began running to overcome my depression. But...

If you had told me last March as I was in the middle of my maternity leave, that I would be a Stay At Home Mom a year later, I would have told you that you didn't know me very well. If you would have followed that up with the added statements that I would be blogging and a runner, I would have guaranteed we were strangers. The blogging maybe I would have considered as viable, but the running? No. Not in the middle of a busy life, with a household and children to take care of. Not for fun and definitely not for fitness. Maybe one day years from now when I had the time and tenacity, but not anytime soon. And yet here I sit recovering from my 10K Training Run for today. Not only that, I am running a 5K on Saturday. Not only that, it's just part of my race schedule for the year. Race schedule: I even have a race schedule! Say what? I'm not a particularly lazy person. If you know me personally, you know that to be true. But neither am I athletic. I was the girl who took a v...

Some weeks ago, I purchased a new book. The title of the book is  You Cant Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded): Strategies for Bringing Out the Best In Your Strong Willed Child  by Cynthia Tobias. I had mentioned on my Facebook page that I was going to read it and some moms wanted feedback to see what I learned and if it was working. So this is my first post regarding the book and the strategies I am learning. I have only read 1/2 of the book so far. I definitely skipped forward to the chapter on Discipline before going back and continuing to read the book in order. The chapters I have read so far are: Who Is the Strong Willed Child? How Do I Build A Positive Relationship with My Strong Willed Child? How Do I Motivate My Strong Willed Child? So What's the Big Deal About School? How Can I Best Discipline My Strong Willed Child? So how's it going? Well. I will say its going well. There was a point in the past couple of weeks that I avoiding reading the book. Not bec...

A few months ago a very special person ran into our lives. That's right, ran into our lives. Through an organization called  Who I Run 4 , my son Alvaro became a buddy to a runner. This buddy/ runner relationship is meant to bring encouragement to both parties involved. The buddy is usually someone who can't run for themselves- usually due to a special needs situation, a disease, or a condition which makes it a challenge for the buddies to run. The runner is usually an athlete of various levels who runs on behalf of the buddy. This running gives them a renewed sense of purpose and motivation behind their training, races, and exercises. So the last day of October in 2013, Alvaro was matched with Heather. She was bound for a half marathon with her sister Melanie, a couple of weeks after the match. Melanie was on the waiting list to be matched, so she also lovingly ran on behalf of Alvaro. What a blessing these ladies have been in our lives. They truly have become good fr...

How does life go on when life doesn't go on? These are the words that have been whirring in my brain for the past couple of days. Friends of mine have lost a child. Several weeks into their pregnancy, they were forced to say goodbye to a life that had yet to fully live. Aside from the heavy heart and hurt of seeing friends in pain, I am reminded weekly, sometimes daily of the loss incurred by so many. A spouse is taken too quickly by fate. A child lost to disease. A baby who could no longer fight a terminal battle got its wings. So many broken hearts. So much sadness. I cannot fathom the despair some may feel in their darkest moments. How does life go on when life doesn't go on? When I ask that question- I hear an answer echo: It just does. Because it has to. I suppose its how our lives continue that make the biggest impact and difference. We cannot keep the memory of our loved ones alive, if we wither into despondency. We can not carry on a legacy, if we chose not...