Confessions from a Thirty Something Momma

I have never, for the most part, thought that being a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) was an easy job. But now that I am one, I have discovered some misnomers I had about it. I used to say, "I could never be a stay at home Mom... I'd go crazy with boredom! I'm the kind of person who always has to be doing something."  For any SAHM I had previously said that to, thank you for not slapping me right then and there! Thank you for putting up with my ignorant comments. I have learned there IS no time for boredom and I can rarely seem to FIND a minute to stop and do anything restful if I stumbled over it. I am surprised by how quickly my day flies- and in segments. Segment 1.: Wake up entirely sooner than you ever wished for because the kids are up asking for milk and needing to be changed. Segment 2:  Holy crap! It's 10 already!! (This said after finally being able to change out of pj's and have a quick breakfast.) Segment 3:  I blink, and it's 12.30pm Segm...

So I'm a bit of a scardy cat.  I'm afraid of heights, afraid of making mistakes, afraid of palmetto bugs (aka HUGE ROACHES), afraid of failing, afraid of hurting or disappointing others.... you get the picture. Bungee jumping, skydiving, skiing- you will not find those on my Bucket list- no sir-ee. Needless to say, I've never swung from a rope and jumped into a lake. We'll put aside that I've never had the opportunity to do so. If I had, I would've turn it down. A couple of weekends ago, I was on a retreat. We were on a boat ride from the Amelia Island harbor headed toward Cumberland Island.  We passed some people goofing around on a boat. One guy was swinging around on a rope, looking as if he was going to dive off into the water. But he didn't. He was just goofing around.  Back and forth he swung, holding on tightly. He hovered over the water without a boat beneath him. He then swung to the other side hovering over his friend as s...

I went through a crisis of faith several years ago.    I was angry at God. I wondered why and how my life could fall apart when I had dedicated it to serving him and sharing his love with others.  I wasn't sure I trusted him. I believed He was real, but not so sure I wanted to be one of His followers. I was hurting and broken.  So I did what many of us Christians populating the pews do on Sunday mornings: I hid.  I didn't hide from God or avoid church attendance. I hid from what I perceived to be the judgement of everyone else. Too afraid to show my weakness and found wanting as a Christian, I plastered a disingenuous smile on my face. People who knew me asked how I was. I said I was fine. That things were going well. I lied. I was sad, broken, hurting, and miserable. I was confused about what God wanted from me and disappointed about where I was in life. I isolated and withdrew from others. I only shared my true feelings and state of bein...