Confessions from a Thirty Something Momma

I don’t have a lot of quiet places in my life. I wake up to an alarm.   Spend the morning hauling off kids to school with the radio on.   Spend the day answering phone calls and talking to customers at the office. Spend the evening in discussions with my husband while cartoons blare in the background. I also often listen to podcasts intermittently for learning, faith growing, and inspiration.   And there is noise. Everywhere. Add to that social media; More noise. It doesn’t go through my ears but often through my eyes and into my heart. Visual noise. Some good. Some bad. Some inspiring. Some discouraging. But all the while there is LOTS going in and very little silence. Unfortunately, for the most part I prefer the distraction of all this noise. Its allows me  to ignore my anxieties and worries. It distracts me from frustrations or sorrows I may be feeling. Ultimately, it provides me an escape from tasting dissatisfaction when life doesn’t go the way I planned (which is mo

My children are 5 and 3 years old respectively. In terms of parenting years I haven't been doing this very long. I have, however, been doing it long enough to have stumbled into my first major regret. It can even  be dubbed a Parenting Fail. A week ago, I was picking my 5 year old from Extended Day at school. The attendant asked for my child's name as I whisked out proof of my identity to collect him. She suddenly got a big smile on her face. "He's so cute when he gets dropped off in the mornings."  And without missing a beat, as I walked towards the door, I replied: "Too bad he's not as cute when I pick him up at the end the day." Lucky for me, she didn't hear me. Someone else got her attention as the words carelessly spilled from my lips. And suddenly, I was pierced with embarrassment and conviction. Let me explain why. When I became a SAHM Mom a little over 2 years ago, I had no clue what I was in for. I went from a full time working M

One of the things that intrigued me and excited me about Motherhood, was having the opportunity to have a front row seat to seeing a human life enter this world, develop, grow, and become an fully integrated adult in society. The fact that I would have a direct impact and influence in the upbringing and development of that child seemed to be an honor and gift that I felt like I would forever treasure. Yet occasionally, exhausted from Mothering, drained from having to instruct, teach, encourage, reprimand, and focus the actions of my children all day long, that excitement seems to be a dim reminder fading in the distance like water evaporating after the rain on a hot day. I often think about how parenting ends up being so m any opposing things at one time. I can honestly say that I believe I am a good Mom. And in the same breath I can say with equal honesty that I feel most days my kids are being short changed when it comes to having me as a Mom. I am loving yet impatient. I am fair

Have you ever seen an under cooked quiche? I have. Several years ago, I lived in the UK (Northern Ireland to be more specific). I call the UK the land of the quiches. I went from never even having seen or tasted a quiche to seeing them everywhere! From coffee shops to church socials, restaurants and supermarkets, these things were readily available. All sorts of varieties and all sorts of delectable flavors. They were so good! Not that I haven't had any quiches since I have been back in the States, but I have yet to eat one here as yummy as the ones I had there. Also, I don't cook them. Despite their deliciousness. I'm not much of a pie crust baker and a good quiche has a yummy, flaky, buttery crust. For those who don't know what a quiche is, its like an egg pie. Technically its a savory, open faced-pasty crust filled with a custard comprised of eggs, cheese, and meat or veggies (or both). I lived in a community in Northern Ireland and we took turns cookin

Yesterday I was a guest at my son’s Muffins with Mom event at school. For someone like me, who doesn’t really receive verbal accolades from her 4 year old son, it was sweet and memorable. I was especially amused and equally touched by the card I received from him. On it was a fill in the blank about my attributes. According to my son, I am 73 years old and am best at making sandwiches. I have brown eyes and hair and am prettiest when I dance. He has also credited me with teaching him construction things. I have been paid my fair share of compliments in life, but these by far were some of the best and most precious ones. Funny thing is, as I read his card, I was reminded instead of my own mother. I still remember the Mother’s Day event when I was in first grade and she joined me for our own version of Muffins with Mom. But more than that, I smiled because some of the things Joel said about me are reflections of some of the very same things that can be said about her (with the exc

I have been giving a lot of thought recently to my latest task as Joel & Alvaro’s mom. I have the honor and responsibility of sharing with Joel – that his brother has a condition that he has largely been unaware of. There is a sense of sadness that I feel as I think about it. The sadness does not in any way stem from Alvaro’s condition or extra chromosome. When Alvaro’s diagnosis was delivered, my lack of knowledge about Trisomy 21 (or Down syndrome) was profound. This unintentional ignorance led to a gamut of fears that weighed my heart down low the first few weeks after he was born.   I was told by a number of people that once the initial shock and feelings of sadness subsided, that I’d look back and wonder what all the fuss was about. I was told by some very helpful medical professionals that my son was “normal” just like any other baby. It would just take him a little longer to do some of the things his typical peers were doing. They said before I knew it, life