Confessions from a Thirty Something Momma

Five years ago, I sat in front of my computer feeling scared, confused, and lost. I had just been discharged from the hospital after giving birth to my second son, Alvaro. He was unexpectedly born with Down syndrome.   I knew very little about Down syndrome. What little I thought I knew filled my heart with fear and sadness.   Questions crowded my waking moments: Where do we go from here? What do we need to know? Would my baby look like me? When would he walk? When would he talk? What kind of other challenges would we have to face? How would I work through the fear and sorrow? How long would I carry the deep guilt I felt for feeling so brokenhearted? How do I come to see the baby with Down syndrome in my arms as the same baby who grew in my womb? I wanted and needed to connect to other Moms. I needed to see what other babies looked like. I needed to know what other Moms were doing, how they were living or surviving with the news. I needed hope and comfort from someone on the s