Fear: My Frenemy

Have you ever had a Frenemy? I have. My frenemy is Fear. We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember. And for someone who is supposed to be a friend, no one has disarmed and crippled me quite like him.  I don’t know why I’m friends with him really. He whispers the promises of protection while in reality he leaves me shackled in chains. He pretends to have my best interest in mind, but the consequences of trusting him can be fatal to my heart.

He’ll call himself my friend, all the while he’ll lie to get his way. He tells me the worst will always happen. No matter what I say or do. He’ll even go as far as taunting me with memories of past hurts, having me believe that if I follow his direction, I can avoid future pain.

Some days I call him out. I expose him for the bully that he is. On good days, when I can see the truth clearly, I don’t believe the stories he tells me. On those days, his influence in my life is minimized and his attempts to intimidate me fail.

Then other days, bad days, sometimes things don’t go how I think they should or how I’d hoped. I might even be struggling with feelings of disappointment or hurt. When I least expect it and need to hear a friendly voice, he comes slinking back into the scene. He whispers doubts and untold circumstances that could happen. He reminds me about the worst case scenarios, painting them as fact instead of fiction. He promises to protect me from these incidents and situations he foresees. If I find myself alone, vulnerable, and tired…I fall for his empty words.  In the end, I reap the damages from taking heed to his words.

I’ve heard it said: Keep your friends close but your enemies closer. But I can’t do that with fear. He does the most damage the closer he is.

So I’m breaking it off with him. And in the words of Taylor Swift, I want to tell him we are never ever ever getting back together. I hope I mean it this time. Because with friends like him, who needs enemies?