Perspective

I was one month shy of my 17th birthday when I started dating my first real boyfriend. His name was David. He was 6'3", had black hair, and clear blue eyes. He was friendly, outgoing, and very sweet. Occasionally, I'd reference who my boyfriend was to someone, and they'd look at me and say, "oh, yeah I know who he is. The guys that stutters, right?" I'd stop and look at them confused. My thought process was almost always the same "Huh? Stutter? What are they talking about?.... Oh yeah, wait, he does have a stutter." And he did. Funny enough though, I rarely noticed.

See, the thing was, when I'd thought about my boyfriend who made my heart go pitter patter, I never even thought about the stutter. In fact it was the last thing I thought of. So much so that I forgot it was there. Even though I spoke to him all the time. Mainly because it didn't define who he was. His stutter had nothing to do with what he meant to me. The people who seemed to notice and point it out as a reference were those who didn't have a relationship with him.

I thought about this as I just read an article and saw some ads on how to react to people who have disabilities. It was a pretty smart and great way to show how to approach others who are different with respect instead of awkwardness. [click here for article] While David didn't have a disability, he occasionally spoke at a different tempo and with more difficulty than many others did. But because I had a relationship with him, that detail faded into the background. It wasn't who he was. It was just an aspect of him, like his black hair and blue eyes.

I often think about how I want people to treat and approach my son. As he gets older, and his condition becomes more apparent through his physical features, I am sure I will face that question many times to come. "Oh, is he the one with Down syndrome?" I'll probably hear. While the answer will be yes, what I know is that he is sooo much more than that kid with Down syndrome. He is Alvaro. The kid with brown hair and what I think will be brown eyes. He'll be the one who loves to dance and enjoys music. The boy who loves to give his Momma kisses when he's happy. The one who rough houses with his best friend/ brother. The boy who doesn't like being left out or alone because he's even more social than I am. That'll be the real answer.

But I am encouraged about the experience with my first boyfriend David. Because I know that the ones who know and love Alvaro, won't see him as "that kid with Down syndrome". They'll just see Alvaro. Their cousin, nephew, grandson, friend, schoolmate, and coworker who makes the world a better place just because he's in it.








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