It's Ok

It’d be fair to say I was off my game this week. Eating healthy felt like a drag. Exercising felt like hard work. I seemed to hit an unexplainable wall of resistance in my usual routine. I was bored. I felt apathetic. I did the things I needed to do. I just didn’t have any gusto when I did them. If I had to sum up my week in one word it’d be this: sloppy.

And some weeks are just like that. Some weeks we don’t do or say or stick with the things we want to stick with. Other weeks we do but it feels like discipline instead of pleasure. Some weeks our hearts hum with joy and peace, and other weeks they are full of dread and anxiety.

You know what? It’s OK.  It’s OK not to be OK.  

I don’t think we hear that enough, especially from ourselves. There are so many things we want to do. So many things we want to be. And there is so much pressure to do it all. Pressure to have it all. Pressure to do it “right.” Pressure not to fail. Sometimes all the pressure becomes the very weight that steals the joy and peace right out from under us.

I think we need to hear more often that it’s OK not to be OK. It’s OK not to be happy all the time. It’s OK not to feel fulfilled in your current role in life. It’s OK to have messed up with your kids, even though that’s not what you wanted. It’s OK to walk through a season of depression. It’s OK to feel fear, and anger, and angst. It’s OK.

Those “not okay” seasons are some of the places where we learn more about ourselves and about perseverance than other seasons of life. Sometimes the not okay seasons are the ones that shape and transform us the most. Granted, we have a choice and a hand in how they shape and transform us. But not OK seasons carry the same potential for change and growth than the great seasons of life do.

Who has the energy to have it all together all the time?  I don’t.  How else will I appreciate my kids when they are sweet (or sleeping) if they don’t drive me crazy at times? How else will I value my husband during our strong seasons if I didn’t appreciate him during our broken seasons?

How else will I see the hand of God moving in my heart and life if I have it all together? How will I see Him turn ashes into beauty if there is never a fire in my life or a season for Him to transform the sorrow that lies within?  How will I learn to experience the sweetness of his comfort if grief never touches my heart?

It’s OK not to be OK. In fact, I don’t ever remember reading in a book or even in the Bible that I had to have it together all the time. If anything, I remember learning that life came with a guarantee of hardship. For us Christians, I remember reading about a guarantee of suffering. So when those tough days, rough weeks, horrid months come… and you don’t have it all together: it’s OK not to be OK.

It won’t last forever. Seasons change. Circumstances change. People move. Kids grow up. Spouses mature (hopefully). Life will go on and it won’t always feel like it does when it’s so hard. I’ve learned this firsthand from many seasons where I wasn’t OK.

So breathe. Rest. Stop beating yourself up. Be kind to yourself. If life is topsy turvy – it's topsy turvy. If you’re not OK, then be not OK. Because eventually, you will be OK again.










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