Your Story Is Not Over

Your story is not over.

These are five simple words that have changed my heart and perspective about difficult situations and brought the light of hope into an otherwise dark place.

I’ve had the privilege of surviving the roller coaster of discouragement and despair (aka grief).  In truth, I have no desire to ride it again. But I will. This seems to be an integral part of the human experience, and one God seems to use many times to teach me more about myself and Him. One of the biggest lessons I have learned through these experiences is: My story is not over.

I remember turning 27 and being single. Many friends had paired up and were engaged, married, and some began having babies. My heart longed for my own love story to fulfill my desires and expectations. Instead, I found myself lonely, disillusioned, and tired of hoping things would be different. Thankfully, my story was not over.

I remember having been married less than two years, finding my happily ever after wasn’t happy at all. My marriage hung in the balance as my husband and I struggled to make sense of who we were and discover who we needed to be to move forward.  With broken hearts we limped forward trying to build a life together. Thankfully, our story was not over.

I brought home my first child with so many dreams and expectations. None of those included the stark reality of coping with postpartum depression. The guilt I felt at not being able to breastfeed and the inability to bond with my child those first few weeks were devastating. I felt so broken and empty. I didn’t feel like a mother, I felt like a failure. But my story was not over.

I laid in a hospital bed holding my 2^nd son, only 4 hours old, with the words Down syndrome ringing in my ears. The cloud of fear that enveloped me was unreal. I felt bereft of joy and full shame for not being able to reconcile the child who grew in my womb and the little bundle in my arms. All on account of one extra chromosome. But my story was not over.

Time and time again, my hopes and dreams have shifted and taken shapes and forms I didn’t think were possible. Some have become dust and faded away before I was able to fully grasp a hold of them. Others I have had to bid adieu, because a different journey lay ahead. Some dreams I held on to tightly became a burden instead of a possibility and needed to be laid down. In all these situations, my story didn’t end.

My hardships have now become the strongest threads in the tapestry of my life. They have tethered the fabric of my heart to faith and hope in ways I could not have imagined.  They have taught me that no matter how low I feel, no matter how long it lasts, no manner how bleak things look, my story is not over.

My 27 year old single self who had all but given up on love and marriage, found my Mr. Right just a few months later.

When Mr. Right suddenly felt like Mr. Wrong, I fought and prayed and worked on my heart. My husband fought and prayed and worked on his heart. We became Mr. & Mrs. Right-For-Each-Other and now have the relationship we had longed for but didn’t know how to have then.  It’s still not perfect and neither are we.  But we hung in there, got help, put in the work, let go of our selfishness and insecurities, and moved forward.

As a new mother whose hormones shifted the very balance of who I had longed to be and felt like I wasn’t, I reached out. I spoke to others who had been there. I would have never imaged that the child I didn’t even feel connected to would be practically attached to hip today if I’d let him. A fierce bond has built over time that no one can take away.

My son with Down syndrome is amazing in so many ways. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t take away that extra chromosome if I had a chance to. I’ve learned so much about love, acceptance, inclusion, dignity, respect, and hard work that I would have only scratched the surface of without the presence of this amazing little man in my life.

Not all my difficult situations have had happy endings. But, they are in the past. They are now memories fading in the distance. Because my story was not over. My difficulties didn’t define me. They shaped me. They challenged me. They stretched me. They took me down roads I would not have walked down willing. And now, they have allowed me to see the blessings that can from tears. They have proved to me that better days are ahead. Because my story is not over.

And neither is yours friend.

If you are reading this and things are in the up and up in your life, I encourage you: rest in that peace. Enjoy it. Savor it.

But if you are going through a situation and you feel hopeless, I encourage you to hang on. You may feel as if time and circumstance have hijacked your story and tossed it about so that even you don’t know where it will land. You may feel the loss and pain of what was supposed to be a forever friendship or relationship slipping away right before your eyes. You may find that your best laid plans for a secure and happy future has now been shattered by things outside of your control. You may be wondering when it will finally be your turn to have those dreams in your heart fulfilled.

And to that I say, Your story is not over. It may feel like all good things have come to an end and you are worse for wear on account of it. But hang in there! It will get better. It has to. Things may not turn out as you have planned or desired. But they will get better. Hang on to hope with whatever strength you have left and don’t let go!

Your story is not over.