The Pits

I’ve been struggling with discouragement.

Not the “oh that situation stinks and I am disappointed kind”.  The “I can’t clearly see forward with a good outcome and I am trying not to give into depression” kind. The kind that sits with a pint of ice cream, 4 Oreo cookies, AND a large coca cola at midnight when I KNOW I need to lose several pounds and a good night of sleep.  The kind that sits in church with a smile and says hi to everyone when it takes everything in me not to break down and cry. The kind that slowly breathes through anxiety attacks so that I don’t lose it in front on my kids.

The ironic part is that I am ALREADY on antidepressants for my postpartum depression.  Yet the struggles and trials of my everyday sometimes seem overwhelming. And I’m afraid I’m not coping very well. The problem is- I am just plain ole afraid.

Instead of putting my focus on the Lord and turning to him for strength- I have turned to Netflix, chocolate, coffee, and work.

I read a devotional today by Lysa Terkeust. It was actually timely and written just for me. Here is an excerpt:

“In Daniel 6:10, Daniel had just learned that if anyone was caught praying to anyone else besides King Darius, they would be thrown into the lion's den. That's a serious pit! But Daniel's reaction is amazing.
He went home, threw his windows open, and prayed anyway. I'm not thinking he did this because he felt good. I'm imagining he felt like anyone would feel in overwhelming circumstances. But he rose above his feelings to make a choice.

And do you know what he chose to pray?  …

Daniel 6:10b tells us that Daniel spoke prayers of gratitude. "Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before."

Since Daniel's response is so opposite of the way most of us would react, it makes me stop and ponder. Our initial responses are usually a by-product of the rituals we've established in our life. Daniel had made it his habit to be thankful.

Since Daniel was a thankful man, God's nature and how He provides was front and center in Daniel's heart—even in the midst of uncontrollable circumstances.

I am challenged and inspired by Daniel's response. It makes me ask questions like: where do I run when life presses in on me? Who or what am I really dependent on? Do I have a habit of inviting guilt to join me in my pit? What might happen if I stopped grabbing for comfort and instead embraced the perspective changer of thanksgiving?

Life will be full of pits. But, that doesn't mean I have to be a pit dweller. Or a pit eater.

Dear Lord, I know I will sometimes find myself in a pit. But I don't have to stay there and I don't have to try to eat my way out. Thank You for providing Your timeless Word to point to the way, the truth and the life. In Jesus' Name, Amen.”

So I am taking that as a challenge for myself. For the next 30 days- I will attempt- 3 times day to be thankful. Purposefully thankful and place my focus, not on my circumstances and unmet desires. Instead I will focus on blessings and the faithfulness of God.

Sometimes I’ll blog about it. Sometimes I won’t. Sometimes I’ll make it my Facebook status.  I have been a pit dweller for too long. It’s time to start making changes. I choose to start now.

Thank you God that I have the ability to not be a pit dweller. Thank you for the choice to turn to you for  comfort and strength instead of my own failings and shortcomings. Thank you that you never leave me nor forsake me and that I can leave the burdens I carry at your feet. May these next 30 days transform my heart and life and status from a pit dweller- to an over-comer of discouragement and a testament of your strength and grace. In Jesus Name, Amen.