Determined

Determined.

Joel was not even 10 months old when I realized this was one of his more defining traits, if not the most defining trait he had. Even as a baby, when he wanted something, he gave his 100% towards accomplishing that goal. I was in awe when I saw him pull to stand in his playpen, fall down, and try again. Over and over and over he did this. It seriously took him a week or less before he had mastered this skill. On he continued to cruising and then walking at 10 months. He was running by his 1st birthday.

Before you roll your eyes thinking this is one of those, "my kid is an overachiever" blogs, I will assure you this is not.

My kid is determined. My kid is passionate. My kid knows what he wants. My kid knows HOW he wants things done. My kid is VERY sure about what he wants. My kid is STRONG-WILLED.

I can tell you I was not prepared for a strong-willed child. I was the kid who was picked on at school and insecure for more years that I can count. I was the kid who learned to adapt. I learned how to change myself so that I would win that "Best All Around" camper award. I learned to become the nicest person people knew. I learned to hide from confrontation and yield to intimidation. I learned to blend.

Finding that my oldest child was quite the opposite was a shock to my system. Not because he knew what he wanted. But because I had no idea what to do with it. Though I have a brother, I also grew up with 2 sisters, a single mom, lots of girl cousins. Hormones I understood. Mood swings I got. Steely determination in a rambunctious ball of energy ... well let's just say I was unprepared to have met my match.

So I've started reading articles online. I looked up and listened to podcasts about how to deal with strong willed children.  You see, I don't want to change Joel. I don't want him to be different. I love him. He's a great kid. This kid is going to be a leader. He's going to achieve many things he sets his heart to. But I have a responsibility now to learn how to navigate that determination and strength. Being strong willed has many many positive attributes and rewards. But boy I can tell you learning to parent a strong willed child is one of the greatest challenges I have ever faced.

But somehow, I am excited to figure out the puzzle. I want to find the way to say, "Come join me on this life journey, Joel" and have him participate willingly instead of being dragged along- kicking and bucking the whole way. I want to unlock the strategies that will allow him to tap into his greatest potential in a positive way. And I am thrilled that I get a front row seat to see how it unfolds. I am oh so curious to see just where this little boy will go.


But until then, I have more homework to do. More reading. More learning. 

So that together, he and I can be successful!





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