Socks & Shoes
I started preparing my first cup of coffee for the day, only to realize I was out of milk. Knowing I drink two cups a day, a trip to the grocery store landed itself on the top of my to do list for the day.
Staying at home with two small children and alternating nap schedules made the trip a logistical issue. But finally, about 4 pm, with both boys up, I loaded the car and headed out on my mission.
Joel hadn't napped at all today though. So I lured him into the car and away from his desire to go bike riding by mentioning the cookie he'd get a Publix. it worked.
Our closest Publix is ten minutes away. On the way there, Joel decided to get comfortable and remove his shoes and socks. I found this frustrating as I'd have to take an extra couple of minutes to put them back on him once we arrived. But, I didn't demand he put them back on. Instead I just shook my head, sighed, and smiled to myself and moved forward.
See I'm finally starting to learn the true importance of picking my battles. I have also come to realize that my desire for Joel to do everything I want him to do is not a realistic expectation. He has his own desires. He has his own flow. And socks shouldn't be the big battle of my day. While it may be irritating at times, and add an extra minute to my day, he will be more than agreeable to put them on once we've arrived.
After all, they're just socks and shoes. No one is being hurt. No major rules are being broken. He's not being defiant, he's just feeling constrained (and acting accordingly). Sure I could ask and nag and get mad at him for taking them off. But on the larger scope of things, they're just socks. I'll save the iron fists for the bigger battles: eating his dinner, not hitting others, being gentle when playing with his brother, not throwing things to express his anger...
I'm just glad I am starting to figure this out while he's two. I have a feeling its a life long lesson I'll be using for years to come, especially when he's a teenager.
Musing over this sock situation on the way to store I recognize there is also a bigger life lesson for me here. Sometimes, in life, things don't go my way. I recognize I can't "do it all." I admit I have limitations that prevent me from doing a lot of things I want to do, or even helping out in so many places outside the four walls of my own home. And these limitations, this reality, may be frustrating for me. But on the larger scope of things, all these frustrating limitations things are just the "socks" of life.
I have been honored with the responsibility of caring for myself, my husband, my children. and my home. These are the non-negotiable. These are the big battles- the areas that in my life that I need to fight for. The areas that requite my energy and attention.
So I am learning to let go of the sock battles. I am learning to stop losing my patience or feeling upset because things aren't happening how I would like them to. I am learning to let go, relax, and even smile on this ride in life. I'm learning that trying to do it all, especially when I can't, becomes as constraining and uncomfortable to me as Joel felt about his socks and shoes.
And I remind myself that eventually, I'll get there. This season of my life isn't forever. One day, I'll get to the place when it's time to put on the sock and shoes and head on inside.
Staying at home with two small children and alternating nap schedules made the trip a logistical issue. But finally, about 4 pm, with both boys up, I loaded the car and headed out on my mission.
Joel hadn't napped at all today though. So I lured him into the car and away from his desire to go bike riding by mentioning the cookie he'd get a Publix. it worked.
Our closest Publix is ten minutes away. On the way there, Joel decided to get comfortable and remove his shoes and socks. I found this frustrating as I'd have to take an extra couple of minutes to put them back on him once we arrived. But, I didn't demand he put them back on. Instead I just shook my head, sighed, and smiled to myself and moved forward.See I'm finally starting to learn the true importance of picking my battles. I have also come to realize that my desire for Joel to do everything I want him to do is not a realistic expectation. He has his own desires. He has his own flow. And socks shouldn't be the big battle of my day. While it may be irritating at times, and add an extra minute to my day, he will be more than agreeable to put them on once we've arrived.
After all, they're just socks and shoes. No one is being hurt. No major rules are being broken. He's not being defiant, he's just feeling constrained (and acting accordingly). Sure I could ask and nag and get mad at him for taking them off. But on the larger scope of things, they're just socks. I'll save the iron fists for the bigger battles: eating his dinner, not hitting others, being gentle when playing with his brother, not throwing things to express his anger...
I'm just glad I am starting to figure this out while he's two. I have a feeling its a life long lesson I'll be using for years to come, especially when he's a teenager.
Musing over this sock situation on the way to store I recognize there is also a bigger life lesson for me here. Sometimes, in life, things don't go my way. I recognize I can't "do it all." I admit I have limitations that prevent me from doing a lot of things I want to do, or even helping out in so many places outside the four walls of my own home. And these limitations, this reality, may be frustrating for me. But on the larger scope of things, all these frustrating limitations things are just the "socks" of life.
I have been honored with the responsibility of caring for myself, my husband, my children. and my home. These are the non-negotiable. These are the big battles- the areas that in my life that I need to fight for. The areas that requite my energy and attention.
So I am learning to let go of the sock battles. I am learning to stop losing my patience or feeling upset because things aren't happening how I would like them to. I am learning to let go, relax, and even smile on this ride in life. I'm learning that trying to do it all, especially when I can't, becomes as constraining and uncomfortable to me as Joel felt about his socks and shoes.
And I remind myself that eventually, I'll get there. This season of my life isn't forever. One day, I'll get to the place when it's time to put on the sock and shoes and head on inside.
Oh, I totally know this frustration. Riah finally outgrew it, and it was so great! And then... Avie started. As if getting them dressed the first time wasn't enough work! But, it's so true - as moms, we can make it a big deal, or choose to remember that "our kids" are actually people with their own preferences, ideas, desires, and methods of entertainment. If they decide that the car ride is going to be that much better sans shoes, do I really need to get up in arms and call out the cavalry? And, to be honest, I hardly ever wear my shoes in the car. I realized I was much more frustrated with the fact that *they* were inconveniencing *me.* Again. Now who's acting like the two-year-old?! It was such a good wake-up call that I still have a lot of selfishness that needs to die. Also, now we hardly ever put shoes on before we get in the car. Who needs 'em?! ;)
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